Lifetime in Germany

Continued from War time

Lifetime in Germany

There is a man there. The lady and the man are talking. I can’t make out what they are talking. My mother is happy for me. But there’s a problem with the man. He’s a woodcutter. He chops wood. He’s a very rugged man. He’s nice. He’s a typical woodcutter. Now, I’m kicking in the womb.

I’m in a European country. It’s Germany. I’m in a wood / forest area. The house is spacious. It’s not so big. It’s a bit dark. The woman is skinny. The guy walked away, wearing a cap. It looks like a cowboy hat but a softer one. It’s not the hard one. The lady is very sad. She’s wearing cream dress with small black lace. They argued about something. They look like my current life parents. I don’t know why he’s angry. He’s a bit rough. My mother and him disagree on something. He wanted a boy. She wanted a girl. I don’t know how they know that I’m a girl now. He’s not happy, because I’m the first child. But when I grew up, he loved me a lot.

I am around 7+ years old. He’s taking good care of me. I have curly hair, with 2 red ribbons. My hair is blonde and brown, mixed. My skin colour is pink and tan. My father is also very tan, like burnt orange colour. His hands are rough. He is very gentle to me. We are very happy but I won’t live long. There’s a pond near my house. My time with this family is very short. At 7 or 8 years, I died. In the middle of the pond, I drowned.

I was in a boat, which capsized. There was a dog with me in the boat. The dog managed to swim to the shore. The dog is ok. I fell down into the water and hit my head on a rock. There’s blood there. So much blood. It’s hurting and there’s a lot of blood and I want to see my mother. I am at the bottom of the pond. The water is very clean. There are stones and small orange coloured fishes. My mother keeps running. She saw the small boat upside down. She’s shouting. Then my father came. He jumped into the water. He’s going down to look for me. I’m still alive. I know somebody is coming to look for me.

I’m still in this place, with my head hurt. I can see the blood coming out from my head and going into the water around me. I am still conscious. I can see the bubbles. I can see the small orange coloured fish. What’s taking him so long?

Now he brought me out. I’m dead. There’s a stream of blood flowing. Now I’m dead. My father carries me. And my mom is crying. He puts me on the sand. They’re really sad. My mother is crying. But my father cannot cry. He’s very very sad. He’s a tough man. He has to show (his toughness). He can’t even cry. But my mother is crying. Her tears are all over me.

Now I’m just going up. I’m coming back. I stopped moving. I went down again. I was already going upwards, but I came back again, because she’s crying so much. I got to go. I’m going up.

Last thought: “I will come back to you.”

She moved on to a Lifetime in Greece.